"Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly."

"No man is free who is not master of himself."

"We have two ears and one mouth so we may listen more and talk the less."

"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do."

"Bear in mind that you should conduct yourself in life as at a feast."

"Preach not to others what they should eat, but eat as becomes you, and be silent."

"I'm no different from anybody else with two arms, two legs and forty-two-hundred hits."

"For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string."

"Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh."

"The older I get, the greater power I seem to have to help the world; I am like a snowball - the further I am rolled, the more I gain."

"Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?"

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."